Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Ben says Yes to: PERSUASION WEAR

Commercial Worth: This could end badly

We all know that subliminal messaging in advertising is banned. If it had to be banned it obviously works. Hide an image of a penis in your ad, all of a sudden sales of your product skyrocket, and no-one knows why!

Now Ben brings subliminal messaging to your regular, non-nefariously persuasive wardrobe. Eg: Going for a job interview that you really want to nail? You wear a lovely smart striped business shirt in which hidden in very tiny text is the message "I Provide Excellent Value as an Employee". Your prospective employer gets a glance whilst admiring your sense of fashion and bang! You've got the job.

Or going out with a chick you really want to nail? Wear a jacket which has the cleverly hidden message: "My Prospects as a Husband and Provider are Excellent". Or something along those lines. You get the idea.

There could be complete clothing ranges such as Get Ahead in Business Wear or Smart and Casual Relationship.

The possibilities for evil are endless. 

Smittys reaction: I really want a "This Concept is Excellent the Way it Is" suit.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Ben says Yes to: THE SHRED-O-MATIC

Commercial Worth: Awesome

Bens ideas are vomiting forth thick and pungent at the moment.

How 'bout this one; it's a thin insert that sits over the fret board of your guitar that you're learning to play, and lights up in the spots to put your fingers. You could learn chords, entire songs, even long-winded heroic solos.

Just plug in it into your computer, choose a lesson, song etc, and you'll be shhhhreding within no time. 

Having attempted to learn the guitar many times, my biggest obstacle (other than laziness) is remembering finger positions. This idea would seriously solve a major problem when first learning. Imagine all the chicks I could have gotten with my mad skills. Shame.

Smittys reaction: C'mon, if no-one with a bit of motivation picks this one up, I'll lose all faith in capitalism.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Sandwich Eyes
Commercial Worth: Ummm...

Ok. Having trouble getting your kids to eat your healthy, but slightly less than delicious sandwich?

Solution: Use a pair of Ben's Edible Sandwich Eyes to turn that boring sandwich into a loveable Sandwich Man. Much emulated cannibalism and hilarity ensues.

Smittys reaction: As improbable as it seems now, you'll probably see these in shops within the decade.